Happy Mama Secrets - about pregnancy and motherhood, my own story

These days I was invited to share my own story on The Good Mother Project with an article that would better describe my view of motherhood, my fears and my struggles while being a mom; with the topic Secrets. I accepted the invitation to take part in this action and that is why I am here sharing my story. Please do not judge me, if you disagree my point of view it is ok, share it with a comment or with a post, I would appreciate it.

My story.

I was 23 and my husband 24 when we decided to become parents. It was strange, we were worried about the idea to become parents. It was new for us, and we thought that we were too young. Then we thought we were together for almost 7 years, what to wait for? There would never ever be a perfect moment to have children. Always something occurs in life and makes you change the idea to become a parent. Decision was made. I got pregnant, we were happy, but I was feeling aware, feeling undecesive, even with this little human inside me... I was afraid... In my mind there were always a question ¨Are we doing right?¨ This question was struggling inside me during all my pregnancy...

Pregnancy

First 3 months of pregnancy I was literally sleeping everywhere, in public transport, waiting to the doctor, sometimes I was feeling asleep, with eyes opened, looking to the screen while working. I was so tired and to all of these I felt all most inocent smells that could be in the world. 

Next 3 months, 4 to 6, I was trying to hide my bump and I weared clothes that visiually would conceal my pregnancy. First reason I was doing that was because of the question that was raising inside me, the second reason was that everybody who seen my bump asked my age, and then where telling me how young I am...I suppose they thought I had forgotten my age. Other reason was the feeling of being fat and everyday somebody told me that I have a very big bump, the last reason got me crazy, as I began to look at pregnant women who were with the same number of weeks. During my 5th month of pregnancy I got a cold and I was coughing so much, as I was afraid for baby´s health.

And the last 3 months, 7 to 9, I felt sooo big and sooo fat and I was afraid that my husband won't love me anymore. I asked him to repeat me daily that he loves me and that I am beautiful. 

During all my pregnancy I ate continuously, yes continuously. Then I was always afraid of something. I was afraid about my baby's health, about his developing inside me, I was afraid about my body, about me, about everything. And when I was hearing that pregnancy is the most beautiful period of life, I would say no. I didn´t like to be aware of everything, to eat a lot and to become bigger everyday.

Big Day

The big day. I would say that for me the day when I gave birth was the best day of my life. The question which was continuously in my mind during 9 months, dissapeared. And the big YES came to my mind. We have done the right decision to become parents. Our son was the biggest gift in our lives. We were happy, I was happy. My journey to motherhood began in that day.

First 3 nights in the hospital weren't slept by myself nor by the kid either. I thought if this will happen with other 3 nights I won't resist. I found that I can resist even more nights without sleeping and I was ok. Then I read about oxytocin and how breast feeding helped me with sleepless nights.

With the beautiful world of motherhood came a lot of challenges. I would like to enumerate them all, or maybe some of them:

- first diaper, how to put it correctly...wierd, but I was first time mommy and I didn´t know how to do this. We called the nurse to help us.
- to understand why my baby is crying... and find it quick before I will begin to cry....I cried a lot first months
- to take shower in 1 or 2 minutes
- to manage to be ready in less than 10 minutes
- eat standing
- to get baby falling asleep
- to dress my baby with proper clothes, not too hot nor too cold
- to find 5 minutes to take my decaf coffee
- first day in the nursery 

- first time to leave him with somebody he doesn´t know
- first cold
- first everything

Our first year passed so quickly that looking back I realize how much work we've done together. Word motherhood means for me our passion to give all the best we could during his first year. As from 1 year we, me and my husband, became teachers, masters in our son´s world. There were more challenges for him then for us. He had to learn how to walk, to speak, to eat, to do a lot of things alone. It was difficult but I would say that for me this period was easier than first year of his life. 

Now our toddler is 2 and a month, just one month before his birthday we had tantrums everyday for everything. I thought that our "terrible" 2 began earlier, but no, it wasn't so. His tantrums last 1 or 2 weeks, no more, and I can firmly tell you that I have never ever enjoyed as much motherhood as I do from his 2nd birthday. I know that there will be more challenges and tough moments, but for sure I will pass them easier.

Thank you!

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1 to 10 counting - educational activity for toddlers from 1 to 3 years

I was good at maths, sometimes I think this is because I was shown from early ages assembly and multiplying excercices like a game and not like a routine. So, I loved numbers and play with numbers, maths was like a game for me.

I thought that it is never too early to begin to teach my toddler numbers. First step was through a song, there are a lot of very funny videos on youtube, just choose the one your toddler likes more. Our son began to count almost at 1 year and a half, he wasn't talking too many words, but numbers he knew to count due to a song and for him it was like a game.

Next step was to sing with him the song and to get a good pronunciation of each number. It wasn't difficult till the moment when he learned numbers in the nursery. From that day he began to count in 2 different languages. To explain it better, he counted 1 to 3 in Russian and other numbers in Catalan. I was happy and not so happy, but I thought it's a challenge but I don't have to show to my toddler that it is something difficult. So, we began to sing the song with numbers every morning before nursery and late in the evening, sometimes more times as he found this song quite funny and he loves to repeat this song.

On Wednesday I had Bank Holiday and spent all day with my toddler. I thought that it is perfect moment to go to next step with numbers. Get him used with them on paper. He has never seen before all numbers and I prepared him 2 games. 

1. First activity was to put exact number of pom poms to each number. Like one pom pom for number 1, two pom poms for number 2 and so on. From 1 to 4 it was easy for him, then he just put all pom poms on a number and the game finished. Do you think I was disappointed? Not me. It was just first step of learning, that is why I left him playing with pom poms and not bother about numbers.

2. Second learning activity was writing numbers on caps and to organize the numbers in their orders. We played a little bit, less than 5 minutes and played with his toys.

Conclusions. I didn´t expected my toddler to play with numbers hours, nor to understand the game. I wanted to get him familiar with written numbers and as I ,mentioned previously I wanted him to enjoy numbers and not to hate them. I think that more we insist, more these activities bother them and they will never ever play the game with you. The idea is to play as often as toddler enjoys playing, once he gets bored it is good to change for another game.

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Teaching colors for toddlers, learning activity with printables

Due to BabyCenter Team, toddlers begin to recognize different colors at age of 18 months. It is true that each baby is different and learn colors in its own way. For example in both nurseries that went our son, they were teaching them colors from about 6 months, they never learned 2 or more colors in a day, the process is to learn a color a day, or a color in a week. As my toddler already knows more or less colors in Catalan language, even in English he knows better the colors than in Russian, I thought that it is a good idea to improve language skills.

I have printed printables of 7 basic colors and some images that would have an association to the color. Then I took some paper and crayons and proposed to my toddler to paint something with each color. While painting we have repeated which color it is and with which images we could associate. It is like playing in a puzzle of colors.

I thought that this learning activity will be an easy one, as I knew he had practised something similar in the nursery, then he watched a lot of youtube videos with colors and theirs associations, but it hasn´t been as easy as appeared. First day he colored the printables, it was fun, but it was a good way to learn. What I have observed? He didn´t paint a red printable with green color, he choose right colors for each printable. Second day he had more enthusiasm about these printables, and asked me to draw him the dog.. and how do you think, which color of crayon he gave me?... the right one... the brown. It was a pleasent surprise as previos day I thought that the idea of learning colors wasn´t a good one, but now I think it just requires time as any other learning activity. Then it was easier and he enjoyed playing with colors and crayons.

In English there are great videos on youtube, that our kid enjoys watching. These are: Colors Songs for Children by Super Simple Songs, and they have an extensive choice of songs for all colors, so check there if you haven´t seen them yet. Our son in this way learned a lot of English words as apart of these videos nobody talks to him in English.

If you want to improve language skills on your toddler as I want, my advise is ¨Keep trying!¨ as every child learns in his own way and own speed. Don´t be too concerned if your child doesn´t know all the colors or less color as other children of his age.

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Childhood now and 20 years ago.

This post I want to dedicate to me and others mums like me, because I found out that 23h of 24h I think and talk just about my toddler. That is why today's post I want to dedicate to my childhood and my memories.

The idea came to my mind today on my class of English (yes...even now I study English.....and yes... I see that I have to learn even more). We were talking about our childhood, about our favorites toys, if we had to do chores and other things we were used to do while being kids. So, let's begin:

- childhood in a city is different to a village one
- outside activities while living in an apartment are different to those in a house with a farm
- childhood in one country is different to another and so on.

1. I used to live with my parents in a flat in a little town and during the summer I lived with my grandparents on their farm. So my toys were chickens and ducks, dogs and rabbits. My outside activities were looking after the ducks at the nearby river. My toddler would never ever know what is that and how this is used to be done.

2. My parents gave me all theirs love, read me a lot of books, but never ever tried to keep me busy as I do to my kid. If I wanted to do something extra I had to do it by myself or with my elder sister. Now I feel that my toddler is somewhere dependent of activities that I propose him to do, as he expects me to be nearby everytime or our daddy.

3. I didn't have ant toy that was the one and only...no... My toddler has 2 toys, one teddy bear and other a little dog.

4. In my childhood there were no wifi or internet connection and we spent a lot of time outside, now my toddler has wifi, but not here is the problem. The problem is his mother that somewhere she is addicted to socials, my parents prefered to spent theirs time with me to socials.

5. In a little town or in a village you are friend with everybody, every child and 20 years ago there were no differences within children and we used to make friends easier. Now I feel that my toddler finds difficult to make friends, even in the kindergarden, kids are very possesive and think that all the toys had to be theirs, so, there is no sharing feelings.

5. I used to do chores during the day and to help my mother in the apartment and my grandma at her house. I hope I will have enough pacience to educate my toddler to make chores in our flat as well.

As a conclusion, my toddler will have a great childhood and I know he will think as me now that his childhood is better that will be to his children :). How about you childhood dear mum?

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From Bilingual Family to a Multilingual environment. How to raise a smart kid within so many languages?

Globalization is something that changes our lives in a good or bad way, but all of us try to accept and survive in this kind of life. Nowadays it is very common, kids to grow in a multilingual environment, nothing to compare with almost 20 or 30 years ago, when a bilingual kid was seen as a kid who is not as smart as others, or not as capable as others. How I know? Simply, I am that kid that 20 years ago was struggling and demonstrating to all my teachers that to be from a bilingual family is a lot of fun, and I am smart, and maybe somewhere I understand the things easier than other kids, just because I have more words to express things or actions.

Now, my problem is not only to teach my toddler 2 languages, as did my parents. But, as well to teach him English, because it is one of the main spoken languages, and of course Spanish and Catalan, that are the languages of the place we have chosen to live in. It is taugh, but I always try to do my best on that, both of us, me and my husband, we try to develop the skill to understand as many languages as our toddler can. And when I go to a pediatrician, it is very frustrating to hear, that ¨your kid do not speak as much as he supposes to speak, you have to do these things (and there is a list of things to do) to develop his speaking skills¨. After this, I think ¨oh my God, have you ever tried to speak to a little kid at least 4 languages?¨

I knew that these kind of problems will occur during his growth, and I read a lot about this kind of difficulty. Now, I can hear my toddler to count the numbers till 3 in Russian, and from 4 in Catalan. Or every time when playing with the ball we mentioned this word in Russian, and then suddenly he told us that he wants to play with the ball, in Catalan language. In these moments you just want to scream as much as possible.... really?... no.... I am happy that he speaks anything, even if he has a chaos in his brain.

That is why, I want to share with you some steps to raising your own polyglot kid. Some tips are from my experience, others are taken from inspirational literature.

1. One person, one language. From the beginning we had a clear vision that we will speak him Russian, in the nursery Catalan, grandparents Romanian. Kids are very smart creatures who are quite capable to know a language if it is only spoken by one person.

2. DO extra activities for developing minority language at home. As our child spent more time in the nursery, his vocabulary is richer in Catalan than in Romanian or Russian. This kinds of activities can be: printables, reading books, cartoons in Russian languages.

3. Find a community with kids who speaks the same language. We haven´t attended yet, but we plan to find a group of mummies who are keen to meet and leave the kids to play together.

4. To travel to the country where the language is spoken as a first one.

5. Be PATIENT, all learning activities requires time and patience, the results will be seen shortly, don´t worry.

As you can see, there are just few tips to follow to see any results, the raising of multilingual children is a highly personal process. Your kid can learn any other languages at any time.

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Potty challenge - our own story about how we forgot about diapers

¨Quick potty training¨ it is not a recent thing nowadays. Psychologists Nathan H. Azrin and Richard M. Foxx published the book that started it all, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, in 1974. 30 years past since then, so I won´t amaze anybody with new tactics or new ways to train your kid to get used with a potty. But, I will tell you a story, our story, how we forgot about diapers.

It was middle of April, when I tried for the first time to train my kid to get used to a potty. I looked for a long weekend when I had the opportunity to stay almost 3 days at home. I firmly decided that in 3 days we won´t be using diapers. Just one little thing here to mention, I began alone, I didn´t prepare nor my husband, neither the nursery (very, very bad decision).

1st day, my toddler were looking at me like ¨ are you crazy mum, why did you take off my diaper ? ¨. Yep, I took off his diaper, and all the flat was pissed off, when he went to sleep I had to clean all my house... yes... very challenging.

2nd day better results, not all the apartment were pissed off, just few times, and few times in a potty. Again, when he went to sleep I had to clean all the flat, because my husband told me ¨it was your idea, so feel free¨.

3rd day, almost done, almost all the times were in a potty. When he went asleep, I prepared a lot of pairs of clothes for the nursery.

These 3 days were training during the day, during the night it was diaper. As well we went out very little within these 3 days, as I wanted to get ready my kid to the nursery.

4th day in the nursery, they told me, that they will try, but it is better to begin a little bit later potty training....hmmmm (I didn´t like this, but)... I said... OK.

....passed a week, on Friday, let´s follow our potty trainig... NO, NO, NO, our toddler was afraid and crying and didn´t want to go to a potty, it was almost impossible to train him. That weekend was the most challenging for us, our dear daddy helped a lot, as he has seen  my striving to teach our toddler, but even though it was difficult. On Sunday, the day before nursery was the easiest day of the weekend, but even though it was much more difficult to train him as it was on the previous week. The most amazing part of this, was that our toddler, were looking for a diaper on a usual place, and gave it to me.

Almost 3 or 4 weeks we were struggling in such a way his potty training. It was difficult, but we did it, as nothing is impossible.

NEXT STEP. Get out the diaper during the night. A challenging task, but I found it easier than during the day, in JUST 2 nights we trained our toddler to a potty, during the night.

Counting back, potty training took us almost one month. We did it, it was taugh, stressful, messy, but we have good results now.

I think that to train to a potty your kid in 3 to 7 days, you need to be, or a stay at home mum, or to take some holidays or to be helped by the nursery. For us it was challenging because we did it with my husband, and nursery´s contribution was seen only when our diapers in the nursery got finished.

Every bad experience or a good one come with a lesson, my lesson was: be open and ASK FOR HELP, and other thing that I learnes was patience.

Wish you a good experience, and this task on your job as a MUM to be the easiest one.

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10 tips for parents who travel by plane with kids.

Ahh, yes, we talk over and over again about holidays, vacations, getaways and great time with family. I am an agent travel, loving mother and just a person who lives abroad with her family. We go twice a year, this year just once, to see my parents who live far away from us and as well our far-flung relatives. On our first 2 years we flew a lot, and got some experience.

Our first flight was with our 2 months baby, and it was something simmilar to... whaaa whaaa whaa... all flight. All this tantrum, was due to pression and because our baby didn´t want to take the pacifier to calm down. I just literally woke up and took my baby in the arms and stayed with him almost half an hour or an hour, till he got tranquil. Hmmm, you would say, what a crazy mum will go with a 2 month baby on a plane,.. yeah.... me... totally crazy mum.

During his growth, nothing changed, apart of our experience and we understood which things he likes and which one doesn´t. What things to take with us, and which once not. It is true that in an 1 hour flight was quite easier to keep busy our kid than in 3 or 4 hours flight, but nothing is impossible if you follow some of our tips, that I would like somebody have told me before.

1. When you book your flight, choose your flight hours, choose the hours when your baby has to sleep - ALWAYS! First time when we flew with our baby, my flight time was just after his sleep hour at midday. Now I take flights or right at the midday, or late in the evening. If you manage to get your baby tired before entering the plane, you can choose any hour you want. Your baby will get asleep, and won´t notice the pressure the same way as when he is awake. You will have time to relax and sometimes to read anything.

2. Your handbag, DO NOT bring all sort of things that can be packed in a luggage with you in the plane. It is useless, and if you do not prepare properly your handbag, you will find difficult and annoying to get that pacifier or bottle, while baby has his tantrum. Pack the handbag just with the most important things, and all to be arranged in the way you can get all things with just one touch of your bag.

3. Pacifier, or a bottle with water or milk, candies, chew gums, anything to suck, depends on the age of your kid. I used pacifier till 1 year, now we use the bottle with milk, I have heard that a lot of mums use candies. This help your kid do not feel discomfort of the pressure during takeoff and landing.

4. Diapers - change diaper before you enter the plane, because even if your next seat is empty and nobody is sitting, it is not permitted to change him there. And in the toilet, depending on the flight, in little ones it is very uncomfortable to change a diaper. I think that in most cases you will be lucky enough to change the diaper before and after getting into the plane.

5. ALWAYS bring an extra pair of clothing for your kid and you. You do not want to be pissed on or covered in vomit. Lucky us, we didn´t have such experience, but we always have one more pair of clothing with us.

6. Toys, not a lot of them, as you will have additional work in the plane, as babies like to throw them away if they get nervous. From my experience the best things are big ones: a plush toy, a book (with a lot of images and very colorful), plastic cups and straws (you can ask for them in the plane). DO NOT take little things like crayons, little toys or puzzle, you will get crazy in the plane.

7. Food, even if your flight is not a lowcost, you have to bring some food with you. Avoid all foods that are sticky, messy or crumby. Make sure all the food is in little boxes and are easy to use. We use to take croissants that are packed one by one, a sandwich or some candies.

8. Bring with you napkins, sanitizers, and plastic bags for trash, A LOT OF THEM, in the plane you will use more than usual.

9. Let people help you, sometimes you just need somebody to tell you that you have left something on a seat.

10. Once you land, make sure almost all the passangers left the plane. Make sure you have everything with you.

I wish you will have a wonderful flight with your kids. And remember, if your kid is crying do not let this to stress you, other people will understand and won´t bother you.

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5 things to take with you in the car, while traveling with kids

Hello summer! Welcome sunshine and wonderful weather. All of us were waiting for you for 9 months, like a mum waiting for her baby.

Who is lucky had already had it's holidays, but who is even luckier will have it's holidays in a very short time. That's why, here I am, with some tips while travelling with kids. Today I will share some important things to take with you in a car.

Apart of food and drinks, you also have to take into consideration, how you will keep busy your child in the car. Here are my 5 top things to take in the car:

1. Toys that open and shut, change its forms, I take some bracellets or my beauty things, because our toddler like to play with them.

2. Personage toys, if you have finger toys ot is a good option as well. Kids like storytelling and if it is 4D it is even better. We take winnie and tiger to play with, I tell him different kinds of stories about theirs adventures and how they love to play with each other.

3. Music, songs that he is familiar with. We have a CD with songs he used to sing in the nursery, I have learned some of them and we sing together while travelling

4. Books or colorful images.

5. Your mobile. Actually, I think it is not the best thing to give to your child while travelling, but from my experience it is easiest and quickest way to stop kid's tantrum in the car.

I hope you will find useful this tips and enjoy your holiday as we did.

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